A company in Japan is offering paid leave when you go through a bad breakup. And that’s not all:
…[A]t Hime & Company…they also allow their lucky employees to take two mornings off every year to go shopping.
“With paid leave, we don’t have to feel guilty about bringing our shopping bags to work, and we can enjoy the best part about sales shopping — talking about our purchases afterwards,” Hiradate said.
Combine this with the allowance for pet owners –well, I honestly can’t decide if this is a matter of building great employee relationships, or sheer lunacy.
I began a post on how to create rules for a small workshop or retreat based on a comment that Shelby made, but my post has stalled for a week or so.
It seems to me that if you decide that you want to meet in a small workshop or retreat, you might want to spend the first hour discussing and deciding upon rules. The primary challenges that I’ve found are that rules can easily be too general, too numerous, or too complicated to keep track of. They can also be a laundry list of things not to do. None of these seems helpful. And, of course, you don’t want to spend hours and hours developing rules rather than actually workshopping.
So I’d like to open it up in comments to ways that you’ve found to develop rules for group work in workshops or retreats or even larger conferences. What has worked? What has not? Have you ever shown up with a draft of rules to work from rather than starting from scratch?
Resources
So here is a little video from Feministing on how the web site got its start. While you don’t have to watch the whole thing, Jessica gives some of those second wave v. third wave thoughts about national women’s organizations that I alluded to yesterday.
Via Feministing
A while ago, ChaliceChick wrote about the mid-life crises, wondering if they really existed, if they happened to women as well as men. Her thinking was prompted by an article about narcissism justified by mid-life crises.
But (drum roll, please) it’s real! It’s real! Yes, Middle Aged Misery Spans the Globe. It’s apparently a real phenomenon. Data from two million people from 80 countries demonstrated that there is a dramatic dip in happiness and life satisfaction around mid-life. The low point for women is age 40 and for men is age 50.
“Some people suffer more than others, but in our data the average effect is large,’’ said Dr. Oswald [one of the researchers]. “It happens to men and women, to single and married people, to rich and poor, and to those with and without children. Nobody knows why we see this consistency.”
Despair in midlife comes on slowly, but the good news is that it doesn’t last.
“It looks from the data like something happens deep inside humans,’’ Dr. Oswald said. “Only in their 50s do most people emerge from the low period. But encouragingly, by the time you are 70, if you are still physically fit, then on average you are as happy and mentally healthy as a 20-year-old. Perhaps realizing that such feelings are completely normal in midlife might even help individuals survive this phase better.”
So while a dip in happiness and satisfaction isn’t synonymous with a mid-life crisis, this is evidence that there definitely something seemingly unpleasant going on in middle age across cultures that isn’t necessarily related to sex, class, marital status, or child status. So that feeling? It’s not just in your head. It’s in the head of millions of other people too. What a relief. And keep exercising until you hit the other side.
This is the environmental edition.
You survived a hurricane. But will you survive life in a FEMA trailer? That remains to be seen. FEMA ignored evidence in determining long-term effects of formaldehyde in trailers.
You’d think that cleaning a plastic bottle with hot water would make it cleaner. But no. Oh no. In fact, hot water releases bisphenol-A, which is a lovely endocrine-disrupting cocktail. So avoid plastic bottles and hot water.
And speaking of hot water, drinking and cooking with hot tap water is a bad idea. This isn’t just an urban legend. Hot water contains more dissolved solids in it, including lead. And lead is not something you want to drink. So avoid drinking and cooking with hot tap water.
Finally, there is Mattell, which refuses to issue a nationwide recall on a blood pressure toy with 8 times the limit of lead. So check out the link to see a photo just in case you own it. And, if you do, take it back to the store and avoid licking it in the meantime. No licking.
We don’t do much to educate teenagers in general about workplace safety or workplace rights, but recent Bay Area workshop is part of the solution of beginning a dialogue about these issues.
Teenagers are injured at twice the rate of adults in the workplace, which indicates more workplace safety training and awareness is necessary. And I don’t have any data about teenagers and sexual harassment at work, but stories about teens at Hollister and McDonald’s indicate that part of our conversation about work needs to include a discussion of sexual harassment as well.
I’ve found that shopping on Etsy is an alternative to buying from Target or Wal-Mart, and it supports artists. You can’t find everything, but you can find a lot.
Here are a few new favorite items:
Found Notebook made from vintage scraps of paper
Whimsical Stained Glass Cross seems Greeky to me, which is probably the appeal
Rainbow Felted Tote for those of us who like big bags
Zen Buggles Minky, a baby blanket, but I’m halfway to asking for an adult size
Purple Eyelash Scarf has West Coast UU minister written all over it
Button Flowers that will never die
You may recall Helicopter Parents Negotiate Salaries, and my request for actual data about the helicopter parents. For the uninitiated in Baby Boomer lingo, Helicopter Parents are those that hover around their children making sure that life is easier (I suppose) by removing road blocks to their success. It’s not that this is a bad thing per se. It’s that helicopter parents seem to get a bit carried away. And it’s not that I doubted this phenomenon existed; it’s that I had yet to see data among the half dozen trend pieces that I’d read.
Well, here is some related data from JC in A Little Hovering is Just Fine:
According to the survey released last week by the Higher Education Research Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles, a large majority of nearly 300,000 college freshmen reported that they were happy with their parents’ involvement in their college careers.
More than three-quarters said their parents were involved the right amount in their dealings with college officials. About 73% said they were fine with the role their parents played in choosing their classes.
So at least we can say that most students are all right with their parents involvement (whatever that may be). That doesn’t mean parents are all right with it. Or administrators.
And note that Latino students and first-generation students want much more involvement from their parents:
The study also found that students of color thought their parents were not involved enough in some aspects of college life. Some 43% of Latino students, for example, wanted more parental involvement in choosing their college courses, compared with 18% of white students.
College administrators suggested that the lower level of parental involvement has a lot to do with the fact that students of color are more likely to be the first in their families to attend college.
Read A Little Hovering is Fine, students say for a digest or the actual survey results for a more complete look.
There was a time when I admired second-wave feminism. Really. I read Betty Friedan. I read Gloria Steinem. I was a member of NOW. I got that “the personal is political.” This is really my mom’s generation of feminism. I’m steeped in it. I get it. At least I thought I did.
Yet, I knew that, much like first-wave feminists, second-wave feminists basically responded to the needs of white upper-middle class straight women in the first world and left out anyone who was lesbian, bisexual, a person of color, or not upper-middle class in the first world. I knew this. I tolerated it as sort of an anachronism as I engaged in third-wave feminism.
But now that time has come to an end because my annoyance threshold has been reached.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
JANUARY 28, 2008
11:11 AM
CONTACT: National Organization for Women - New York State
Marcia Pappas, 518-452-3944 - 518-469-2661
info@nownys.org
Senator Ted Kennedy Betrays Women by Not Standing for Hillary Clinton for President;
Ultimate Betrayal Felt by Women Everywhere
I didn’t feel any betrayal except by NOW-New York, which has sexistly assumed Kennedy must support Clinton, who (obviously) must represent all women, thinking much along the lines of Steinem’s editorial a few weeks ago. This is the stupidest most sexist assumption I’ve heard. This woman doesn’t speak for all women. But ahem that’s always been the problem with second-wave feminism.
I started to read Iraq contractors tap Latin America’s needy, but I started to involuntarily moan and had to stop reading as that bothered both me and the dog too much to continue. Apparently several thousand Latin Americans are employees of U.S. contractors and work as “conflict labor” in U.S. war zones. Imagine that. We could employ the world in this war. There surely couldn’t be any unintended consequences to that.
CNN’s Worst Things to Say at Work is pretty funny, and possibly not in the way it intends.
Here’s a short list of the “worst things to say at work.”
“That’s not my job.”
“No problem.” (if you don’t mean it)
“Don’t tell anyone I said this, but…”
“I haven’t had a raise in four years.”
“To be honest with you….”
“Whom did you vote for?” (Who remembers to say “Whom”? If we’re going to be really correct, it’s “For whom did you vote?”
“I got so trashed last night.”
“I just didn’t have time for that.”
“…or else.” (Who doesn’t like a threat?)
Now there are a few listed that sort of irk me in general. I tend to think that all statements beginning with “To be honest” should be stricken from the record (Are you lying the rest of the time?), but I’ve also caught myself using it. And, then there’s the weird grammar “Whom did you vote for?” And no one likes threats, as in “…or else.” or gossip “Don’t tell anyone….”
But then there are a bunch of sentiments in the list that seem to be necessary in some fashion, but are just phrased awkwardly: “That’s not my job.” “No Problem” “I haven’t had a raise in four years.” and “I just didn’t have time for that.” It seems to me that it’s important to understand exactly what your job is, to be able to affirm work that you can do, to state your salary history, and how much time you have for tasks. Perhaps not in those words.
As a prescriptive list, this is a pretty bizarre one. It seems co-written by the corporate overlords at Career Builder. No complaints! Suck it up! You’re either with us or against us!
Possibly for the first time ever.
“What if some poor guy in Watts retires and says, ‘I want an SUV,’ ” Dymally [state representative from Compton] said. “Do you punish him for that?”
Yes. And it’s not a punishment. It’s a consequence. You drive a big polluting car. You should pay more to pollute. Period. It doesn’t matter if you live in Watts or Westwood.
The state of California is considering a “sin tax,” much like taxes on liquor and cigarettes, on folks who insist on driving SUVs that pollute more (Hummers, Tahoes, etc). You get a rebate if you drive something that doesn’t pollute.
The Union of Concerned Scientists, an advocacy group that worked closely with Ruskin [a proponent], estimates that California’s emissions could drop by as much as 57 million metric tons a year by 2030 as a result of the feebates. That would be equivalent to taking about 9 million cars and trucks off the road [emphasis added].
Opponents, including automakers and the United Auto Workers, warn that the fees could have a disproportionate effect on lower-income buyers who may need large family cars and businesses that haul equipment.
I’m waiting to see any data on that “disproportionate effect.”
One of the reasons we have such big environmental problems is that we consistently separate the cost of the product (the car) from the cost of the pollution the product causes (smog). It’s a terrible idea to separate the two. But here we are.
I’ve divided the Spirituality at Work Roundups into categories by theme. This is a round up on daily struggles and survival at work.
Losing Weight at Work Bringing Home the Bacon, Keeping Off the Weight tells the weight loss struggles of three individuals in the workplaces with a lot of food and sedentary tasks.
Communal Living What chores would Jesus do? documents the difficulty of attempting to be Jesus-like in a communal home with adults, children, and dirty dishes.
Freelance Musicians Freeway Philharmonic is a documentary that follows the lives of seven Bay Area freelance classical musicians. You can see the trailer here, and sympathize with the musicians. That looks like a hard day.
Flex Time for Lawyers Ever so slowly, law firms are allowing for more flexible use of hours, including reducing the number that must be billed for, and using alternative plans for time.
English-Only at Work Apparently there are some businesses that don’t allow people to speak Spanish. I’m guessing these businesses are not in Southern California. Yep, it’s the Salvation Army in Framingham, Massachusetts, which fired two clothing sorters for speaking Spanish. I can’t come up with any comment other than Dumbass Salvation Army—that’s illegal unless it’s for safety reasons and it seems to go against your own Christian doctrine.
Fun: Phallic desk accoutrements. There is not anything more to say about that. But a two-legged dog! A dog that brings all sorts of questions about the assumptions we make about what value life has for those of us born without all our parts. This dog is joyful and bipedal.
News: Journalist burnout continues, but now we understand a bit more about why. The world’s most evil alarm clock has been developed and it knows your enemies. Little girls are developing breasts younger and younger, thus bringing the joy of adolescence to childhood.
Notes: Asking for recommendations gives good advice on how to approach your boss for a recommendation. The Tipping Point looks at the idea of change in The Devil Loves Prada and epidemiology. Understanding the Crazy Boss dissects the notion of the crazy boss as well as the structure of crazy boss articles.
Religion: What right to parents have to circumcise for religious reasons? And, if they have that right, when does it end? Like age 12?
Spirituality: Did Jesus Say You Could Eat That? examines dieting for Christ (or with Christ, I suppose). Breathing into Pain gives Pema Chodron’s sense of tonglen breathing and connection with your suffering rather than ignoring it. Being Santa as Ministry looks at a congregation of Santas who minister as well as evaluating gift options for tots.
Tips: We covered the physical (Simple Yoga Postures for the Workday, Smaller Stretches for the Workday), the financial (Surviving a Recession), and the emotional (Conference Going)
I wrote about Peak Oil, and my horror that even though I majored in earth science this notion that we had already found most of the oil and were now running out never came up (perhaps we didn’t know then?). However, apparently even though it’s left out of undergraduate curriculum, it is now included in a memo from the Shell CEO:
Regardless of which route we choose, the world’s current predicament limits our maneuvering room. We are experiencing a step-change in the growth rate of energy demand due to population growth and economic development, and Shell estimates that after 2015 supplies of easy-to-access oil and gas will no longer keep up with demand.
Something about the Shell CEO admitting this makes it much more scary.
Via The Oil Drum via Treehugger
Simon of Bloggasm followed up on my brief post on Journalist Burnout. You’ll recall that a study by Scott Reinardy demonstrated that journalists have high levels of cynicism, and only moderate levels of efficacy, a combination that may lead to burn-out. And the most burnt-out of all were the small newspaper copyeditors.
Simon interviewed Reinardy about the origin of his work on burnout, which I found particularly interesting:
Dr. Scott Reinardy, a 43-year-old professor with Ball State University, was sitting in a doctoral seminar class in the fall of 2003 when he started thinking about the stresses sports writers experience.
“Because sports is so intense, sports journalists would hear it from fans, coaches, players and their sports editor,” Reinardy told me earlier this week. “They all wanted something, and sometimes it led to combative situations. I started thinking in terms of post-traumatic stress, but there was no trauma. And, it’s hard to argue that covering ball games and eating pressbox food creates a great deal of stress, although the high-fat, high-sodium food can have adverse physical effects.”
For 15 years he had worked as a sports writer and editor for five daily papers, so he knew the hardships of newspaper journalism. In 2005 the Center for Disease Control listed journalism as the seventh most stressful job in the US, but Reinardy wanted to know if this led to journalists falling victim to burnout, a trend that would cause many to leave the profession.
7th most stressful job? Oy. You can read the whole entire interview at Journalist Burnout is on the Rise, which includes answers about methodology, levels of cynicism and satisfaction, the future for journalists (and their opportunities outside of print journalism), and future studies to be conducted.
This poor twelve-year-old kid is caught up in his parents’ dispute over whether or not he should be circumcised. Yeah, you read that right. He’s twelve. And his dad, who has converted to Judaism, is insisting that not only is the boy going to convert (or else?) but that he must have his penis converted as well. The mother, who is Christian, is saying no.
Luckily, a sane, rational judge is asking “So, uh, what does the boy attached to said penis want?” I can only hope the boy is able to express his own wishes, and not those of a parental figure–either one.
But what got me was this:
James Boldt said that as a Jew and the primary caregiver, he has a First Amendment right to practice his faith as he sees fit for his child.
Funny, I thought faith was a personal decision. At least, it is when you’re old enough to be asked what you want to do about that pesky foreskin.
Thinking of sleeping in? Evaluating just how late you’ll be to that morning meeting at work? This would totally get me out of bed. Yes, it’s an alarm clock that connects via wifi to your bank account to donate money to a group you hate. Think of the possibilities. Think of the effectiveness.
Via Mark Morford’s 29 Things to Be Happy About where I also learned that absinthe is now legal.
This is just about the oddest diet I have ever heard of (and I will put something in parentheses here in order to avoid that dangling participle.) It is by grace you have been saved, so ask Jesus if you’re allowed to eat before saying grace:
Gwen Shamblin, a former dietician turned weight-loss guru, founded the Weigh Down Workshop on a simple premise in 1986: Let God tell you when you’re hungry and when to stop eating.
But as it turns out, letting God tell you when to eat isn’t exactly the safest idea in the world:
A woman in California said she developed bulimia after participating in the Weigh Down Workshop and said she knew lots of others who had developed severe eating disorders as well, fearing that if they gained weight it could somehow affect their ability to go to heaven.
My idea of heaven being a giant bag of salt-and-vinegar potato chips, a pile of bacon, and some brie, I don’t think I want to go to this heaven they keep mentioning.
The word “hip” is egregiously misused in Hip Office: Ergonomic Workspace for Those on the Go. Come to think of it, the word “ergonomic” is also misused. I don’t think there’s any way typing in that position is ergonomic….yow.
Via Treehugger
I started thinking about the extreme cost of workshops and conferences when I read Jacqueline’s Missing Out on Spirituality. It seems a worthy topic to explore. Many of us hope to expand our lives in some fashion with an enriching workshop, retreat, or conference, but they are often very expensive.
This past weekend I was in Chico with a group of women that I met originally at Squaw, which is a writing conference in the Sierras. We met to workshop new poems over the course of three days. We congregated in one woman’s home on a lake, cooked for ourselves, and cleaned for ourselves. It cost me a plane ticket (which I feel guilty about) and $40 for food, and, most importantly, provided a community of like-minded supportive people. We did this on our own, sort of taking the authority to do so into our own hands.
I mention authority, because I think we tend to place far too much value on it for workshops, retreats, and conferences, as if the only way to learn meditation is from the Dalai Lama and not our neighbor Joe who has meditated for twenty years or we can workshop poetry only with Mary Oliver and not with our own quite well published poet-friends. We get caught in thinking we have to operate within the bounds of a conventional experience when that may not suit our needs. (Enter bar camp for unconventional thinking about conferences and authority.) Please note that there is nothing wrong with a conventional experience, but it often leaves lots of people out due to cost and logistical issues. Furthermore, I sense that many of us are starved for community, so it seems a shame that we may be missing out. There is no reason you can’t create a small workshop or retreat on your own. We did it in LRY/YRUU. We can do it now too.
I suggest you consider the following elements:
- What is our purpose (e.g., to learn meditation, to build a community, to write new work)?
- Where can we best meet our purpose (e.g., campground, vacation rental, conference center, someone’s home)?
- How can we best structure our time (e.g., an opening prayer, workshops or silence, and closing ceremony of sorts)?
- What sorts of spaces are available (e.g., private rooms, public spaces, outdoors)?
- What do we want to do about food and sleeping arrangements (e.g., bring food, cook for ourselves, have it catered, sleep in sleeping bags, bring mattresses, etc.)?
- Who will lead? And when? And what are the expectations for leadership?
Most of us who have done a bit of event planning (e.g., your own wedding, parents’ anniversary brunch, parties for others) understand some of the logistical and cost issues, and I think there are good ways to keep these to a minimum with small intimate gatherings at home and outdoors rather than large meetings at corporate facilities.
Resources