Surviving the Workday

Dear Ms. Theologian,

I started a new job a week ago. It’s an amazing job and I love it and the people I work with are great but they’re all men. It’s no problem. My problem is I was so afraid to not get the job, but I am 3 months pregnant and I don’t know how to tell them. What should I do?

-Scared 

Dear Scared,

Ms. Theologian can understand why you’re scared. Being pregnant and starting a new job are both huge changes. However, I think that learning more about pregnancy discrimination and your rights will help.  Pregnancy discrimination is on the rise as you may have heard. And to clarify what exactly is illegal: 

You cannot refuse to hire a woman because she is pregnant. You cannot fire her because she is pregnant. You cannot demote her or dock her pay because she is pregnant.

This is important information for you to know. So while you didn’t initially disclose your pregnancy to your employer at the job interview, you really had no legal (or moral in Ms. Theologian’s opinion) obligation to do so. You should not feel guilty.

It might help to understand why there is an increase in pregnancy discrimination.

1. Part of the reason is that there can be significant economic costs to an employer in terms of insurance and covering your time off in some fashion. At least that’s the perception on the part of the employer.

2. Part of the reason is there are a number of stereotypes of what pregnant women are like:

In one study published in 1993 in the Journal of Organizational Behavior, pregnant and non-pregnant women performed tasks that were rated by college students drafted for the research. While both subjects performed the same, those who were pregnant consistently received lower performance ratings. They were viewed as overly emotional, often irrational, physically limited and less than committed to their jobs, according to the report. [Ms. Theologian’s reaction: AYYEEE! Can you believe this?]

In another study, pregnant women were interviewed about their own experiences on the job. About half said their supervisors’ reactions to their pregnancies were negative, according to the report published in 1997 in the Journal of Business and Psychology.

They also reported intrusive comments from co-workers, including such comments as, “Why are you eating so much?” and, “Do you have stretch marks yet?” About half of pregnant women managers said subordinates became upset or hostile. [Ms. Theologian’s reaction: Between the negative reactions from the bosses and subordinates who are upset and hostile, this just sounds potentially awful.]

Some specific advice from Ms. Theologian:

• If possible, wait a little while to tell anyone at work so that you can establish a rapport with your boss and coworkers.
• Make a plan for how you are going to take time off to have the baby. Because you are a new employee, you are not eligible to use the Family and Medical Leave Act, which allows workers 12 unpaid week off (if they’ve worked for the company for at least 12 months). Do you plan to use sick leave? Does your employer happen to offer paid leave? Check the HR manual for any information on this. You need to have a plan before you tell anyone at work.
• Once you have a plan, tell your manager or supervisor first. Then tell anyone else who needs to know. It is extremely important that your manager/supervisor not finding out about your pregnancy through gossip.

Other suggestions from readers?

-Ms. Theologian

P.S. If you’d like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.