Comments on: Squeamish about Neighbor Gift Giving

By: GhostGirl

GhostGirl — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 22:13:09 +0000

We have a policy of just never giving neighbor gifts or indeed gifts to anyone outside immediate family (and the forced giving to the pathetic aunt of course.)

There is always the discomfort when our neighbors drop off gifts when we got nothing for them, indeed, for the first year were wholly unaware that this was a possibility.

By: Anne P.

Anne P. — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 17:46:24 +0000

Jeff recently stopped by friend-neighbors’ house to drop off cat-sitting payment for their kids, and a pie as payment for the parents who probably had to scoop the litterbox. He said he found it very uncomfortable, though I didn’t probe as to what he thought was the root cause.

Personally I always hate making unannounced visits, and even phone calls to, well, anybody I haven’t lived with for an extended period of time. I worry about inconveniencing or imposing on the recipient - even when I would never feel that way on the receiving end. With gifts, there’s also worry about causing them anxiety over reciprocating - “oh, we’re making cookies too, but not until this weekend…”

Ms. T, do you randomly pop in on these neighbors at other times of the year (empty handed), or do you mostly talk to them when you both happen to be outside?

By: Comrade Kevin

Comrade Kevin — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 17:29:58 +0000

Obligations of all sorts get to me. Some call them traditions, but I often call them something much ruder.

By: Ms. Theologian

Ms. Theologian — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:41:33 +0000

You know…valid hypothesis, CC though I actually love small talk, and am partial to it over meaningful talk. But perhaps the “forced” part is part of it.

By: Chalicechick

Chalicechick — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:59:05 +0000

Could it be a dislike of small talk?