So the other day I saw a news story about explaining your job to your kids, and the comedic misunderstandings that ensue. I was trying to figure out how to explain to my future children that Mommy looks at socks and underwear all day, and then tells people whether floral or plain white sell better. The nice thing about kids is they might actually find that pretty exciting stuff.
But in case you were thinking of changing your profession to one that the kids might find a little more interesting, here are some suggestions:
President of the United States: Okay, bear with me. Yes, you say “President” and the kid is already in awe. It’s pretty much the only job most kids have heard of before they turn five. But the coolest part? He (or she) gets to wear a bulletproof suit. My inner child thinks that’s the coolest damn thing ever.
Worm Fiddler: He’s kind of like the Worm Whisperer. Also known as “rooping,” the art of worm fiddling is handed down from generation to generation, and it’s all about luring worms to their doom through the use of some sort of magical worm symphony. I swear to god I am not making this up.
Nude Doctor: This one makes me sad because the headline led me to believe it was doctors who practice medicine in the nude. New Zealand, you have failed me.
Dental Divester: The economy has gotten so bad that people are selling their gold teeth at malls for cash. And somebody has to remove those teeth.
Soccer Pundit: You get to watch soccer (football) matches all day and then compare a tackle to rape on national TV! Ah, I remember when my brother-in-law went through his “likening losing a computer game to getting raped” phase. It was charming. And 7 years ago.
Charles Darwin: Because then you’d have lots and lots of nice shoes.
So what is the weirdest job you’ve ever had? And, how would you explain it to your kids (assuming it’s not your current job…)
March 23rd, 2009 at 6:35 pm
First of all, no one in my family understands what I do now.
But - I was the portrait taker at Knotts Berry Farm that put you on a magazine in the Roaring 20’s area. So, I guess I made people think they were famous.
March 23rd, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Often the weirdest jobs are the ones with seemingly ordinary job titles, since we all wear so many hats these days at work.
March 24th, 2009 at 7:59 am
“Mama used to sell shoes to women whose feet hurt.”
March 24th, 2009 at 8:01 am
Also, I’d like to point out this detail from the bullet-proof suit article:
Employees are dedicated and committed to the product, so much so that everyone who works for Miguel Caballero is required to try on a vest, and be shot by Mr Caballero. And you thought your job interview was tough.
Wow!
March 24th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
I think it’s funny that the reporter WANTED to get shot, but couldn’t, because only Miguel Caballero is allowed to shoot people.