In a letter to Mama PhD, a young graduate student asks about how to identify family-friendly institutions at which to work post-PhD. The career advice follows:
The first is to keep tabs on universities that are working to make life manageable for parents. You seem to have already begun that process; I would urge you to keep up with this blog and Inside Higher Ed generally, and to sign up for newsfeeds and/or Google alerts on topics related to motherhood and academia. Talk to other women at conferences and on chat rooms about their personal experiences, and attend as many workshops and seminars on motherhood, the work-life balance, and the glass ceiling as you can. Over time, you will develop an information and support network that will eventually help inform the application process.
The second is to become active, now, in organizations and movements that advocate for parents of young children, both in your current institution and nationally. You have much more time and energy now than you will once you have a baby, and more than your peers and professors with young children. Find out how to help the women who are mothers now to advance in their careers. By doing this, you can help create improvements that will benefit you later, learn the politics and subtleties of advocacy, and create good karma for yourself.
It’s important to note that the process of finding a family-friendly employer might actually take years. Sadly. But that an informed job search will arise out of this research.
Ms. Theologian,
Your response from yesterday reminded me of something:
Once I had a job interview, and I commented on the enormous photo of my potential employer’s kid (”Cute kid!”) and then she asked if I had children. She’s not supposed to ask, right? I didn’t know what to say, so I just answered truthfully (”yes”).
-Still puzzling over it
Dear Still puzzling,
Yes, “Do you have children” and the variant, “Do you plan on having children?” are considered big no-no’s. Also in the list are:
What is your religious background?
How old are you?
Do you have a disability?
Are you married? and
Do you have children?
There are actually a bunch more variants here (and feel free to browse the extensive information here at the EEOC on ways that folks discriminate) but the major questions really are above. Unfortunately inappropriate and/or illegal questions are much more prevalent in interviews than you might think.
The best strategy to formulate an answer may be to gauge what is trying to be discovered, and then address that. Did the interviewer need to know if you had children that would interfere with overnight travel? Did she purposefully (and deviously) place the giant kid photo there in order to solicit comments and ask job candidates about children? Was she just being politely reciprocal and doesn’t know the law? Was there some other reason?
Ms. Theologian sees at least three options for you, none of which is ideal:
1. Answering truthfully as you did;
2. Lying, which may have unintended consequences if you’re hired; and
3. Reminding the interviewer politely that the question is illegal, which is hard to do (one suggestion here).
Because Ms. Theologian is above all a practical theologian, she thinks that answering truthfully as you did and then moving quickly on is not a bad idea, providing you wanted the job and providing that the question was asked merely as a reciprocal sort of thing. But that doesn’t make Ms. Theologian very happy. After all, whether or not you have children should not be asked.
Readers, can you think of a nice way to say the question was inappropriate (one suggestion is linked to above) without jeopardizing the rest of the interview? The suggestion I’ve included above seems like it would kill your shot at the job.
-Ms. Theologian
If you’d like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.
Dear Ms. Theologian,
I have read your blog for quite a while, and have even commented thereon a few times. And, at the moment, I find myself in need of some advice.
My situation is thusly: My “boss” (quotes explanation in a moment) seems to have gone completely mad. (The reason for the quotes is that technically she’s my boss’ boss, but she is actually The Boss. I cannot do anything to please her, and I recently was told that she wants to: 1) give me a “needs improvement” review and 2) open my position in order to replace me. Read the rest of this entry…
Dear Ms. Theologian,
I just found out that I was very well qualified for a job for which I applied, but was also one of 1000 well qualified applicants for the same position. My question to you is this—when inundated with applicants, how does an employer determine who to hire, aside from the loaded issue of racial quotas and preferential hiring statistics?Thanks,
Seeking Among Thousands
Dear Seeking,
What gets your resume plucked from a stack of thousands of qualified candidates? having a clean, short (1-2 page) resume that stresses the language of the job advertisement and some luck
No one ever admits to the luck since we live in a meritocracy where people seem to think they get what they deserve, but there is quite a lot of luck involved in who gets hired, who gets fired, and who and what are successful.
What gets you hired from an interview among a dozen equally qualified candidates? being likable and, of course, we all tend to think of ourselves that way, so here are some tips to make sure we are (in short, be empathetic and interested).
-Ms. Theologian
No one has asked Ms. Theologian a question in a while, so she’s going to take someone else’s: a job hunter wants to know if she can leave off her major in women’s studies from her resume (she has a double major in English and Gender and
Women’s Studies).
Um. Yes. Please. Feel free to leave off your major in Gender/Women’s Studies. In fact, I would highly advise it. And I like the fields, but those are all terms with a ton of baggage, and you don’t know what it’s going to trigger in someone who sees it.
Of course, we could say that you need to find a job in which a double major in English and Women’s studies would be applauded. But I am far more practical than that. You need a job. You are not lying if you leave something off. So leave it off.
You are in no way obligated to portray the totality of who you are as a human being on your resume. You need to tailor it to the job (despite what some folks say in comments).
Writing a cover letter for a community college teaching position is a slightly different task than writing a standard cover letter. While you should definitely use the language in the job advertisement when you describe your skills in the cover letter (and avoid addressing the letter to To Whom It May Concern at all costs), you can also include teaching evaluations and comments by students:
Demonstrate you’ve got the chops — Part I. Let your readers hear your students’ voices or see their reactions to your work. This can be done in a variety of ways: by quoting particular passages from student evaluations or by including single-page summaries of numerical evaluations and comments in an appendix (avoid sending scores of pages). If you’ve been nominated for or won a teaching award, talk about it as modestly and tastefully as you can.
For a teaching position at a community college, you can let the cover letter run more than one page, but I wouldn’t go more than two pages.
And now we move on to the second in a series of questions about required and requested materials to cover letters.
A cover letter (as a hard copy or an email) generally is written in standard business letter format with these sorts of paragraphs:
1. Date (this can be left off in an email)
2. Your contact information (address, email, phone)
3. Contact person and contact information for the company (Yes, you should try your best to find the specific contact person even if it’s not listed in the job advertisement—try the website)
4. A greeting to a specific person (Dear Mr. Dellafave:)
5. A sentence that states what job you are applying for and how you found it (e.g., I am applying for your job as head bean counter advertised in the Los Angeles Times on 4/13/09)
6. A paragraph that summarizes your qualifications in terms of the job description. (e.g., I am an experienced bean counter. Briefly my skills include: bullet point with job skill; bullet point with job skill; bullet point with job skill; and bullet point with job skill.) This is the biggest paragraph and the most important one. This should clearly show how you have the skills they need.
7. A closing that suggests how much you would like to meet with this person
This should all fit on one page or in a short email.
Some folks say they don’t read cover letters, and they might not. However, Ms. Theologian has had much more luck with cover letters that mimic the language in the job advertisement in the list of bulleted skills thereby passing through Human Resources quickly and landing her resume on the desk of someone who might hire her. She has also had luck by customizing the summary paragraph of her resume to include items from this list of bulleted skills.
Any other thoughts on cover letters, readers?
-Ms. Theologian
P.S. To write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.
Your laugh of the day from David Robinson’s column in the San Francisco Chronicle:
I think I’m addicted to e-mail! Even when I have a big project and a looming deadline, I can’t resist checking every 45 minutes or so. I realize that if I’m at a conference and when I’m traveling, six to eight hours can go by without me checking e-mail and the world keeps turning. How can I give up my obsession?
Every 45 minutes? Why wait? Some of us know the second email arrives. Part of Robinson’s reply is below:
Above all, e-mail is intermittently rewarding. Every once in a while, a message arrives with a big payoff: New business from a client, a compliment from senior management, or just a friendly note from a colleague you haven’t heard from in a while. As any slot machine player knows, it’s the intermittent, unpredictable reward that most controls behavior.
Yes, email is exactly like a slot machine. Seriously. You get rewards, but they are intermittent and unpredictable. If you have trouble with an email addiction, stay out of Vegas.
Dear Ms. Theologian,
This year, due to a cruddy economy and the fact that we’ve gone from 150 to 95 people at my office (30+ of thsoe were laid off in the past two months), we’re having the office party in our office, which actually is a neat place (an old warehouse). The party is a Friday night in mid-Dec. I emailed the party committee chair and suggested a “Mad Men” theme–y’know, late 50s/early 60s, a time of slick suits, constantly-lit cigarettes, and constantly filled martini glasses. Class!
I find out today that a) the committee wants me to help with the party and b) they want to group up the folks in the office and have each group build a putt-putt hole with an assigned theme (Madonna, Salvador Dali, Alfred Hitchcock, etc.). The idea behind this is that morale has been really low and they want to raise it.
This feels like forced fun to me, and it feels like not what a nice, relaxing, professional, holiday office party ought to be. Nothing says, “We’re nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs” like grouping up people that don’t usually work together and making them build something on their own time. It seems to suck the fun out of a party, instead of give everyone a chance to breathe and relax.
Or perhaps I’m being a crab because I’m already crotchety at the ripe old age of 33, and my mom made me a REALLY nice dress from a 1952 Butterick pattern to wear to the office party? (I’ll show the dress on my Tuesday post on WAD.)
Thoughts?
Thanks,
Loving Mad Men
Dear Loving Mad Men,
First, let’s note that Ms. Theologian had to google putt-putt hole to make sure it was what she thought it was. Now that Ms. Theologian is sure that we’re talking about mini-golf, she is trying to envision a mini-golf hole built around the theme of Alfred Hitchcock. Birds fly out of the hole and attack you? Yes? And this is fun?
Trying too hard to have fun isn’t fun. And perhaps it is the time of year, but the idea of coming up with any sort of extra time and money for a project such as this makes Ms. Theologian grumpy and unmotivated. Motivation in the workplace isn’t necessarily made in themed-mini-golf holes.
David Robinson of the Haas School of Business has this to say about morale in the cruddy economy:
In the current time of economic uncertainty, while your staff members may grumble, they are probably relieved still to have jobs. There are two general approaches you can take that will keep morale up.
First, avoid inciting a riot by spending money on other things that your staff sees as irrelevant — nothing upsets people more than being told that there’s no money for raises and then seeing a new piece of art work being displayed in the corporate lobby. And while client relationships are important, this is not the time to be throwing gala dinner parties.
Then, within your own work group, think about what non-monetary rewards you can offer your staff. These include the opportunity to rotate assignments, taking additional training during work hours and showing extra flexibility on vacation dates. Often the smallest piece of consideration on work schedules can make front line staff feel appreciated.
So let’s note that he says nothing about themed mini-golf activities. This doesn’t fall under morale-boosting. Why? Because it may seem completely irrelevant and wasteful in this economy.
On a broad note, the problem with forced fun at work is a. it’s involuntary and b. what is fun for one person is not fun for others—this is why some people collect stamps, some people bowl, and some people watch birds. We don’t all enjoy the same things. For some reason, people don’t seem to understand a and b above.
-Ms. Theologian
P.S. To write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.
Alana at the LA Times answers questions on giving “holiday” cards in the office (Must I give one to everyone?) and stolen mail (What should I do when my coworker steals my Amazon gift box?).
I’m wondering who these coworkers are. Man. They want to snub you with holiday cards and steal your mail. It’s tough out there.
Dear Ms. Theologian,
I started a new job a week ago. It’s an amazing job and I love it and the people I work with are great but they’re all men. It’s no problem. My problem is I was so afraid to not get the job, but I am 3 months pregnant and I don’t know how to tell them. What should I do?
-Scared
Dear Scared,
Ms. Theologian can understand why you’re scared. Being pregnant and starting a new job are both huge changes. However, I think that learning more about pregnancy discrimination and your rights will help. Pregnancy discrimination is on the rise as you may have heard. And to clarify what exactly is illegal:
You cannot refuse to hire a woman because she is pregnant. You cannot fire her because she is pregnant. You cannot demote her or dock her pay because she is pregnant.
This is important information for you to know. So while you didn’t initially disclose your pregnancy to your employer at the job interview, you really had no legal (or moral in Ms. Theologian’s opinion) obligation to do so. You should not feel guilty.
It might help to understand why there is an increase in pregnancy discrimination.
1. Part of the reason is that there can be significant economic costs to an employer in terms of insurance and covering your time off in some fashion. At least that’s the perception on the part of the employer.
2. Part of the reason is there are a number of stereotypes of what pregnant women are like:
In one study published in 1993 in the Journal of Organizational Behavior, pregnant and non-pregnant women performed tasks that were rated by college students drafted for the research. While both subjects performed the same, those who were pregnant consistently received lower performance ratings. They were viewed as overly emotional, often irrational, physically limited and less than committed to their jobs, according to the report. [Ms. Theologian’s reaction: AYYEEE! Can you believe this?]
In another study, pregnant women were interviewed about their own experiences on the job. About half said their supervisors’ reactions to their pregnancies were negative, according to the report published in 1997 in the Journal of Business and Psychology.
They also reported intrusive comments from co-workers, including such comments as, “Why are you eating so much?” and, “Do you have stretch marks yet?” About half of pregnant women managers said subordinates became upset or hostile. [Ms. Theologian’s reaction: Between the negative reactions from the bosses and subordinates who are upset and hostile, this just sounds potentially awful.]
Some specific advice from Ms. Theologian:
- If possible, wait a little while to tell anyone at work so that you can establish a rapport with your boss and coworkers.
- Make a plan for how you are going to take time off to have the baby. Because you are a new employee, you are not eligible to use the Family and Medical Leave Act, which allows workers 12 unpaid week off (if they’ve worked for the company for at least 12 months). Do you plan to use sick leave? Does your employer happen to offer paid leave? Check the HR manual for any information on this. You need to have a plan before you tell anyone at work.
- Once you have a plan, tell your manager or supervisor first. Then tell anyone else who needs to know. It is extremely important that your manager/supervisor not finding out about your pregnancy through gossip.
Other suggestions from readers?
-Ms. Theologian
P.S. If you’d like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.
Dear Ms. Theologian,
I am pregnant but only just now in the second month. We wanted to avoid telling anyone but close family until after the first trimester, but I stay very tired and semi-sick most of the time with morning sickness, headaches and all sorts of little ailments. I work from home as a consultant to an organization that I have worked with for many years. I know the two people I work with most closely pretty well. I wrote them a note letting them know about the pregnancy and that it was slowing me down. They were understanding and supportive. The question is, when it is delaying my work - do I tell them why or was my first email enough of an explanation? They will never complain to me - they are too nice. But I feel like if I am out of commission for two days (just happened), do I just vaguely apologize and say my health is up and down with the pregnancy, not mention it at all, or say sorry, I was in bed for two days with terrible morning sickness? How much health information to reveal as a (legit) excuse for being behind? Is one explanation enough or do I explain each time, or only if they ask? Or only if things get really really behind? I don’t want to over-disclose, but I also don’t want them to think I am being lazy or just not getting to things.
-Careful and Nauseous
Dear Careful and Nauseous,
Congratulations on your pregnancy! And Ms. Theologian hopes the nausea goes away sooner rather than later.
This is an extremely tricky question. A few thoughts:
First, of course, illness (pregnancy related or not) is a legitimate excuse for not working. That almost goes without saying (except that our culture is so work-obsessed that many people work while sick—don’t do that).
Second, there has been a significant rise in pregnancy discrimination in the United States of late (both statistically and in stories told to Ms. Theologian), and while as a consultant, you aren’t necessarily affected by the same rules as employees, you could still well feel the effects of discrimination.
Third, Ms. Theologian is not sure that it matters why the work is late on their end. Late is late.
Fourth, people can have very different responses to hearing about pregnancy ranging from joy to jealousy to disgust (I know, it’s hard to believe, but not everyone is into it), and you can’t control these reactions, only what you say. So while coworkers may initially be pleased for you, they may not want to be reminded of it regularly. Of course, some might want you to take daily photos documenting your growth. You just can’t tell. Better to reveal less in Ms. Theologian’s humble opinion.
All that said, Ms. Theologian recommends the following:
- giving regular status updates on projects so that you are proactive rather than reactive to being late (don’t wait until something is already late to tell a manager that it will be late—give an update at the halfway point and three-quarter point, if possible)
- “padding” your schedule to include more time to do the work (roughly doubling how much time it might ordinarily take, not in terms of billable hours so much as in terms of calendar time)
- being reasonable with yourself in terms of your own expectations—fetus growing is more difficult work than it seems to outsiders
So how much health information to reveal? Ms. Theologian imagines you’ve revealed what you’re comfortable revealing, and suggests not mentioning the specifics again (unless there is a medical emergency of some sort). All of this advice, of course, depends on your specific situation and specific managers/coworkers. You know them better than Ms. Theologian does.
Thoughts from more experienced readers?
Be careful,
Ms. Theologian
Dear Ms. Theologian,
My girlfriend is an academic and applying for jobs. She has taught adjunct for a while. She taught one semester at a horrible for-profit college. It was a horrible experience - the students seemed to be worse than really bad high school students, the whole system ran differently than she was used to (the department picked her text, monitored her closely, mandated attendance reporting for every class), and she was in the middle of a personal crisis at the time which made her less able to handle it well. She got bad course evaluations, and hated the whole experience. This was two years ago. I told her not to list it on her CV. It was a mistake and the place was run very poorly. She has found out since that some people don’t exactly consider it a college - it was accredited in a weird way. Leaving it off leaves no gap in her work record - she continued to teach adjunct at a place she has worked for several years and really likes (and likes her). Can she not list this? Does a CV imply listing everything you have done? If you google her name, it sometimes shows up in the results at Ratemyprofessor.com. Reviews are not bad, but obviously shows that she taught there. Can she not list it and if she is asked about it explain honestly that it was a mistake/bad fit, and only for one semester? Or will it be a problem/considered shady?
-Curious
Dear Curious,
Ah, the bad job. Who hasn’t wanted to pretend it never happened? (e.g., 1995 office coordinator to Teen Court—it never happened—I swear.)
It is Ms. Theologian’s opinion that most resumes and CVs are essentially selective. Something is always cut whether it is a short-term position, a year of graduation, or a job responsibility. We can’t list everything. That’s okay.
Now if a university asked your girlfriend to fill in an application listing every teaching position chronologically, your friend would have to list the bad job (in fact, it could be grounds for being fired later if she omits information on that application). But a resume or CV does not have to be all inclusive, just relevant. It is what gets your foot in the door.
Now she should also assume that if the information is google-able, anyone who interviews her may know about the old job. If this old position comes up in an interview (e.g., “We saw that you were rated on ratemyprofessor.com at X university….” she should play up the positive aspects of the position and not the bad fit (e.g., She tried a textbook she wouldn’t ordinarily have chosen, which increased her breadth of knowledge of publishing the field. She gained teaching experience with ESL/ELL students, which helps her in her current work. She learned how to differentiate instruction at the college level because of the wide rang of students at X univesity. Whatever it is, it should be positive).
Remember Teen Court never happened.
Ms. Theologian
P.S. If you would like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.
Dear Ms Theologian,
Recently I was asked to work on a presentation with someone not in my department, who has only been with the company about a month. Very shortly I realized he was barely trained and everything he produced was wrong. I worked with him to get him up to speed but it was obvious he wasn’t grasping the concepts involved. I went to my boss and she said it wasn’t my job to train him. His boss said to make him do the work regardless as he needed to learn.
Part of the presentation was a collaboration with me doing the presenting, and another part was all him. For the collaboration piece, I did most of the work and he was supposed to plug in some slides that fit in with his separate piece.
He didn’t get them done by the deadline and had to do them over the weekend. Not only did he leave me no time to review them, but they were completely wrong, AND he sent the presentation to his boss (without cc’ing me) with the incorrect information.
When it came time to present, the portions of the presentation that he did were misspelled, badly formatted, had incorrect data points, and had random stray sentences sprinkled throughout. Yet, it was my name on the piece. Luckily, it has only been presented internally to a couple of people so far, so clients have not seen it. However, we have to continue to work together to fix the issues, and we may have to work together again on future pieces.
When I told him the work was embarrassing, he was unapologetic and didn’t seem to care much.
What are my options? Aside from beating him to death with my computer, that is.
-Thought I left this behind after graduation
Dear Thought I Left This Behind,
This is indeed very much like high school, so much so that Ms. Theologian is hearing Toto’s “Africa” in her head right now. And as a former high school teacher (and student), Ms. Theologian will continue with the high school analogy. Hopefully, somewhere in teacher education, teachers learn that students don’t necessarily naturally work together. They need to be taught. One way to teach group work is to have defined roles (notetaker, timekeeper, researcher, etc.). That way the teacher can look at the work that the group produces as a whole, but also judge and credit people for their specific contributions.
Sometimes in adulthood we still work this way. Think of a non-profit board. There are often roles there. A large company with divisions often has some greater designations for roles. Jobs are roles of a sort, parts of a larger whole.
Now being judged solely on your contribution is not always possible in the workplace (Notice how often the CEO is blamed for everything?), but it seems to Ms. Theologian that this is exactly your problem: your name is on the completed work as if it’s all your work, and it’s not. This is bad. You need to find a way to get him credited with his specific crimes documented or get it from him early so you can fix it. How do you do this?
Option 1: Talk to his boss. Again.
Option 2: Talk to your boss. Again.
Option 3: Talk to both bosses at the same time with or without him present.
Furthermore, refuse to work with him again unless adjustments are made to the process. But don’t just say, “I refuse to work with Y.” See if you can find some way to say, “I was really embarrassed by the presentation on X because there were serious errors in some of the slides from Y that reflected badly on me, and I didn’t get his slides in time to review them. How can we assure that this doesn’t happen again?”
This isn’t easy though. This is why many high school students hate group work.
Other ideas from readers?
-Ms. Theologian
P.S. If you’d like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.
Dear Ms. Theologian,
What do you do when a secretary is consistently rude to you?
She doesn’t support me, and I know her boss is fond of her. I’ve tried the “Claire, are you ok? You sound like you’re stressed out” approach and she doesn’t get it. She’s rude-ish to everybody, but seems to save special contempt for me.
I don’t want to go to her boss, and I don’t especially want to confront her myself as she’s already mean to me and would probably regard that as pulling rank. So maybe I should just put up with it. But it’s really irritating. She sits near me and makes everyday office interactions much more annoying.
-Irritated
Dear Irritated,
We truly have no idea what goes on in the inner lives of most of our coworkers. Some share a lot; some share a little; some share nothing. So we do not know if consistent rudeness is the result of any number of dead spouses, dead dogs, or dead plants, or any number of other situations. Let’s assume it’s the absolute worst and that she’s suffering with a type of painful incurable cancer, her spouse and friends abandonned her, her dog died, her plants are spindly, and chocolate no longer tastes good.
One day this summer, Ms. Theologian’s housemate at Squaw told her a story about how she managed to free herself of a stalker with a totally unjustified apology. Now Ms. Theologian is of the frame of mind that an apology is part of a social contract: I apologize to you, then you can choose to forgive me. Without the apology, there is no forgiveness according to Ms. Theologian (though you can let go, get over it, move on, whatever). Ms. Theologian thinks there’s the possibility that you can have an absolutely private conversation with her that says something like, “I really like and respect you, and sense that I may have deeply offended you, and I’d like to apologize for whatever I said or did.” Reword as you see fit, but make it an apology, and not a confrontation.
Other than that, Ms. Theologian thinks you have three options:
1. To continue with the current strategy, which appears to be to cope with the rudeness and become irritated, but sort of suffer through;
2. To fill your heart with loving kindness and be absolutely perfectly kind, respectful, considerate no matter how this person behaves to you. This allows you to sleep at night.
3. To simply mirror her behavior back to her, which will no doubt catch on until everyone in the office is some kind of rude.
Ms. Theologian votes for #2 or the unjustified apology.
-Ms. Theologian
P.S. If you have a work related question, send the question in an email to ms dot theologial at gmail dot com. It will be posted here with some sort of answer.
Dear Ms. Theologian,
Is it okay to give Christmas gift to a Jewish person?
-Wondering
Dear Wondering,
Ms. Theologian is going to take the liberty of reframing your question:
Is it okay to give a Christmas gift to someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas?
Now, this is an interesting question, because, of course, it raises issues of giving: How is giving at Christmas a Christian act? Who does the gift benefit? the giver? the receiver? Is it the giving that is truly the important part, that is, the Christian part while receiving can be done by all?
Here is a simple rule: You can give a Christmas gift to someone who celebrates Christmas.
If that person is Jewish (or Muslim or Buddhist or Baha’i) and celebrates Christmas in a cultural context, then you can give a gift. But if that person is Jewish (or Muslim or Buddhist or Baha’i) and doesn’t celebrate Christmas in any sense, then Ms. Theologian suggests skipping the gift.
You can, of course, always give a gift at a different time of year. A January gift. A Valentine’s gift. Groundhog Day. Whatever. Gifts can be received year round, but when it is labeled as a Christmas gift and given to someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas, it comes off as theologically presumptuous.
-Ms. Theologian
P.S. If you’d like to write to Ms. Theologian, include a gift.
sent from a Blackberry no less.
On the one hand, the crimes as described are basic things that you’d hope interns would avoid (general truancy). On the other hand, I always wondered who could afford extended unpaid internships in publishing (people who don’t need to work for money). Thus ends any snide commentary on unpaid publishing internships in Manhattan.
Dear Ms. Theologian,
-Already Gave a gift
Dear Ms. Theologian,
My boss of nearly four years, a wonderful awesome person, is Jewish, and I’d like to make him some Rugelach for the holidays. But is that uncool? Is that overly religious?
-Wondering Read the rest of this entry…
Dear Ms. Theologian,
I am quitting my job of five years to pursue PhD studies and teaching. The company has been great to me, very flexible with my schedule, but it’s time to focus more on my schoolwork. But when I gave them my notice today, the idea of consulting work was brought up. I create Visual Basic macros that interact between Excel and a mainframe, and do a variety of other technical-type stufff. I was told it would be great if I could come up with “some kind of agreement” that lets them know when they could ask for my assistance.
I’ve never done consulting work before, and don’t know what I should stipulate–would they reimburse me for the mileage in my commute (that’s much of the reason I’m leaving!)? Should I be asking for the same amount of money they’ve been paying me? I’ve found a few contracts online, but I’m not sure what I need to have in writing.
Ideas? (I don’t want to get sucked into working more for them than is convenient for me–but I do enjoy the work, in small doses).
Thanks!
-Future Consultant Read the rest of this entry…
Dear Ms. Theologian,
I have just finished grad school with an MDiv and am sending resumes out into the world like mad. I was thrilled yesterday to have a wonderful interview with a major activism/advocacy organization, and I’m excited about the possibility of working for them. The job seems to be right in the middle of my skills, my experience, and my passions.
There’s just one catch. When I asked the interviewer (my would-be boss) about the day-to-day work environment at this organization, he informed me that his “team” tends to work a lot of nights and weekends. As a parent of four children (ages three to eight), the prospect of being away from home so much–on the heels of working full time and going to school full time for three years–is definitely not something I would look forward to. I really feel like it’s time for me to give a little back to my family.
Based on how well the interview went, I feel confident I’ll be invited to this organization’s headquarters for a follow-up interview. Do you have any advice on how to deal with my concerns?
Thanks so much,
-Hesitant to work weekends